And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
