do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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