Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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