she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
