i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
