I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
