I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
