Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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