he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
