He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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