Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize