So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
