And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
