Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
