Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
