I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
