What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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