our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
a search helicopter?!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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