I could make wine with my vomit
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
