Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
