So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
