And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
