Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
