omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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