dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
