So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
