you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
