Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
