Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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