I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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