Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
