now i know why i became what i already was.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
