I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
