Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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