So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
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He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
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I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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