wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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