A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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