just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
