how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
