There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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