I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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