marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
