so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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