I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
