Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize