Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
