kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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