Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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