You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
