someone owes me an orgasm
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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