I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
