Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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