I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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