yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
