i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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