i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
