It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
