Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize