so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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