Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
