She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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