i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
