I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
